Title: Jim's Regret
Category : Angst/Romance
Summary: Why did he have to kiss her? Short oneshot of a sleepless night in Stamford.
He rolled over onto his back, the sheets twisting around his ankles as he struggled to find a way to go to sleep. The clock on his bedside table glowed in the dark room, casting a green light over his pillow. 2:37 AM. He rubbed his forehead with his palm, feeling a headache coming on. This was the fourth sleepless night this week.
Why did he have to kiss her?
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Sure, the idea of kissing her, really kissing her, had driven him crazy for months. Sure, it had seemed like he would die if he didn't get just one more chance. He had been so sure that it would be worse to give up, to never try. Back then, he had been tormented by stupid daydreams about her- silly fantasies in which she wanted him, chose him, kissed him over and over. The more he tried to fight them, the more they took him over. He thought that was the worst it could get.
He had been wrong.
It was worse- it was so much worse- to really know. To really know how perfect she felt in his arms, how his hands fit perfectly on the small of her back, how her fingers dragged across his face and down his chest, how she tasted. And it was worse to know that despite all that, she would never be his. And now, for the rest of his life, this was all he had- a memory of her kiss that would always haunt him, always keep him awake at night, longing and mourning for a life that would never be, with a girl who would never love him.
And then, not for the first time and, he was sure, not for the last, tears spilled out of Jim Halpert's red, exhausted eyes, tears for a girl who he'd never see again, but who would never truly leave him.